Communication – simple in word, difficult in practice. Six tips.

Communication – everyone talks about it, everyone emphasizes its importance, and yet in practice it often fails. What sounds like a given is in truth one of the greatest challenges of human interaction. Because it is not enough to just exchange words. It’s about being present, listening attentively, finding the right tone, and speaking honestly. This is exactly where it is decided whether relationships grow or break.

1. Listening – the beginning of everything

Most people prefer to talk rather than listen. But those who don’t listen are not really communicating, because true understanding begins with openness and genuine interest in the other person. This foundation must be present in order to enter into real dialogue at all.

Listening means truly perceiving the other person – without a phone in your hand, without doing something else on the side, without already being somewhere else in your thoughts. It means remaining present: keeping your eyes on your conversation partner, paying attention, not allowing yourself to be distracted. Body language also plays a crucial role here: an open posture, attentive looks, genuine interest. Approaching the other person in this way creates an atmosphere in which trust and closeness can develop.

Listening also means not immediately reacting with advice or solutions. Especially men are often very solution-oriented and tend to give quick tips, but in many situations what one primarily wants is to be understood – and that applies not only to women. Those who seek dialogue want to share, to express themselves, and to be taken seriously.

That’s exactly what it’s about: listening, giving space, letting the words stand. And often – as soon as someone feels seen and accepted – the moment comes when they themselves ask for advice.

2. Being able to let opinions stand

After listening, the next step is the ability to let opinions stand. Mature interaction is shown in not immediately judging or taking everything personally. Of course, we don’t always like what the other person says. Sometimes we just listen when someone talks about themselves – that’s still easy. But as soon as it’s about topics that touch us personally, for example in friendships or relationships, it often becomes more difficult.

This is precisely where it is crucial to let the words sink in first. Letting an opinion stand means perceiving it, thinking about it, without immediately reacting. It means not switching to defense mode right away but giving what was said some space. This short moment of pausing – a little break, a brief deep breath – prevents us from reacting impulsively and firing back hurtfully.

And: one doesn’t always have to answer. Sometimes you won’t reach common ground, and that’s okay. Different perspectives are part of life. What matters is not to argue, quarrel, or even break apart just because you don’t share the same view. True inner strength shows precisely here: listen, let it stand, let it take effect – and then answer when it feels right. That is the basis for conscious interaction, from which something good and fruitful can ideally emerge.

3. Criticism – danger or opportunity

After listening and letting opinions stand, sooner or later comes another test of communication: criticism. Sometimes it is conveyed cautiously, sometimes it’s hurled at us – and both can hurt. Either way, criticism remains one of the most difficult aspects of interaction. And at the same time, it is one of the most significant. Because within it lies the potential to take a relationship to a new level, to make it deeper and more honest.

What matters is our attitude. If I see criticism as an attack, I will immediately shut down or strike back. If I see it as an invitation to reflect, something good can come from it: a better understanding of each other, deepened closeness, or even personal growth. Tone determines whether criticism opens doors or builds walls.

Of course, there are limits. Some people don’t criticize to build up but to tear down. Especially in toxic or narcissistic relationships, criticism is often used as a weapon – not to create closeness, but to hurt and destabilize. In such cases it is important to clearly recognize: this is not about constructive criticism, but about devaluation. Then protection, clear boundaries – and sometimes even the courage to remove such contacts from one’s life – are needed. Because this way, things don’t move forward; such people would first have to seek help themselves before a healthy relationship could even be possible.

But where criticism is meant honestly and respectfully, it can become a turning point. It opens the possibility to understand each other better, to reflect on oneself, and to move forward together. Sometimes criticism is true, sometimes not – but if we let it stand, think about it, and don’t take it personally right away, it shows inner maturity. And just as we learn to accept criticism, we should also practice expressing it in a good tone: not to hurt, but to deepen the relationship.

4. The right tone – more than just words

Another important part of communication is tone. And this applies not only to conflicts but to everyday life. It makes a huge difference whether we say something annoyed and stressed or with calmness and patience. A simple example: “Can you please do this and that in five minutes?” has a completely different effect than an annoyed “Do it now already.” The message may be the same, but the effect on the other person is completely different.

This is exactly what shapes every relationship: the way we say things. For many people, tone is decisive in whether they feel seen, respected, or hurt. It determines whether communication builds trust or creates distance. And those who begin to know themselves better and reflect often realize which tones particularly trigger them. For some it is a harsh, demeaning tone because it awakens old memories. For others it’s an irritated undertone that immediately triggers defensiveness.

All the more important to be aware: communication is not only about what we say, but above all how we say it. Words may be neutral or even meant lovingly – but voice and tone ultimately determine whether they create trust, heal, and build closeness, or whether they hurt, build walls, and destroy relationships.

5. Between silence and expressing needs

Another important aspect of clear and good communication is the balance between silence and expressing needs. Silence sometimes seems like protection, but in truth it usually leads to distance. Leaving things unspoken creates insecurity; the other begins to assume or interpret – and that rarely leads to a good outcome.

Every person is responsible for getting to know themselves, understanding their own needs, and learning to express them respectfully and clearly. Because others cannot guess thoughts or feelings – nor should we ever expect them to.

Equally important is accepting the needs of others and not immediately taking them personally. Maybe I want to talk right now, while my partner, after a tiring day, just needs peace. If both communicate clearly and respectfully, it can create very good togetherness. However, that requires maturity – because some sulk as soon as someone expresses their wishes. But inner strength means knowing what you need, communicating it, and at the same time allowing space for the other’s needs.

And one more note: in heated moments or even in everyday life, it is crucial not to just leave without explanation. Those who walk away without saying anything leave the other in uncertainty – and that hurts. If emotions are boiling or you simply need a moment for yourself, it’s better to say clearly: “I just need a short break.” That way respect remains intact. In the end it is important not to remain silent, but to communicate when you need time – and to know yourself well enough to name your needs. That is what shows maturity and enables true communication.

6. Communication at eye level

Furthermore, understanding can only truly succeed if it takes place at eye level. Here it is crucial not to be patronizing, cynical, ironic, or sarcastic. Because all that creates distance and prevents real encounter. Communication does not mean: “I know better,” but: “I see you and meet you as an equal.” This applies to all relationships – in partnerships, friendships, and also in interaction at the workplace.

It is also essential to let the other finish speaking. Not interrupting, not jumping in too quickly, not constantly redirecting the conversation back to ourselves. Those who only wait in dialogue to speak about themselves again not only avoid true listening but prevent genuine communication. Because this way, the common ground is lost. Truly mature exchange, on the other hand, gives space, creates openness, and shows sincere interest.

That’s why it is important not to judge too quickly but to ask, remain open, and pose follow-up questions. Only in this way can we ensure that we have really understood what was said. Communication at eye level means giving the other person space and creating an atmosphere in which both feel seen. That is exactly what makes conscious interaction.

Conclusion

Communication is not a given but a process that lives from listening, letting opinions stand, respectful handling of criticism, the right tone, clear expression of needs, and genuine encounters at eye level. It requires attentiveness, truly taking the other seriously, patience, and the courage to open up and thereby also make oneself a little vulnerable. Only in this way can dialogue arise in which trust, closeness, and growth are possible. And ultimately, it requires above all one thing: honesty – with oneself and with the other.