Relationship Basics: The 7 Must-Haves of a Healthy Partnership

Everyone dreams of a happy and healthy relationship. But what many forget: For such a relationship to work at all, there need to be certain basics – the absolute essentials. Without these, a deep and stable connection is nearly impossible.

It’s not about perfection or always doing everything right. However, a minimum set of qualities and behaviors is essential. If these are missing, there’s a risk of hurting the other person and putting oneself under pressure. That’s why it’s so important to develop these basics within oneself before entering into a partnership. Those who work on themselves and bring these basics to the table create the best conditions for a strong and deep connection – for the good of both.

1. Honesty

Honesty is the foundation of every interpersonal relationship – and indispensable in a partnership. Without honesty, a relationship doesn’t make sense, as it forms the basis for trust. Lying to your partner destroys mutual trust and hurts the other person.

Of course, everyone makes mistakes, but lying and then avoiding responsibility only makes things worse. Instead, one should acknowledge their mistakes, admit them voluntarily, and be ready to bear the consequences.

Honesty also means being fair to your partner and giving them the chance to make decisions based on the truth. Moreover, most people can sense when they are being lied to.

Without honesty, no relationship – neither friendship nor romantic – can last. Only with honesty can a healthy and stable partnership be built.

2. Transparency

Transparency means not hiding anything and giving your partner an honest insight into your life. This includes things like your phone. If you have nothing to hide, you should not be afraid to leave your phone open or show your partner what’s going on. It’s not about control, but trust. Of course, this should be agreed upon beforehand, and both partners should feel comfortable with it.

Another important point is sharing your plans with each other. Whether it’s about the day, work commitments, or leisure activities – the partner should know what’s going on. It’s not about accounting for everything, but about involving each other and being respectfully informed.

It feels good to know what the other person is doing and how they’re doing, without mistrust or control. This way, no one is left in the dark, and trust grows.

3. Trust

Trust naturally grows from honesty and transparency. When a partner is open and honest, trust almost builds itself. It is the foundation of a stable relationship. But when one is repeatedly lied to or kept in the dark, it becomes increasingly difficult to build trust – and it’s quickly shaken.

However, even in difficult moments, when mistakes are made, trust can remain intact. If one admits their mistakes and tells the truth, they show not only responsibility but also a willingness to work on the relationship. In such moments, trust can still grow, even if it’s sometimes shaken. It’s not about being perfect but about staying honest and transparent and working on solutions together.

4. Communication

Expressing desires and expectations: It’s important to communicate your wishes and expectations openly in a relationship. Only when both partners know what the other truly wants can they figure out what works best for both. Of course, there will be times when compromises are necessary, but the goal should always be that it works for both.

When desires and expectations differ too much, maintaining the relationship becomes difficult. But at least you know where you stand and can act accordingly.

Sharing fears and concerns: Everyone has fears and worries, and it’s important to talk about them with your partner. When you open up, the other can take these into consideration and better support you. If desired, you can work on them together and support each other.

However, it’s important to emphasize that this is not a substitute for personal work or professional help, such as therapy. It’s more about being there for each other and going through difficult times together.

Emotionally mature conflict resolution: To resolve conflicts in a relationship healthily, one needs to be emotionally mature and empathetic. It’s about respecting the other’s feelings and not immediately becoming defensive. Instead of feeling attacked, one should seek to understand why the partner feels that way. If a mistake is made, it’s important to apologize and work on it. If you don’t agree, speak calmly and respectfully and find a solution together. In a relationship, it’s about understanding the other’s perspective and showing interest in your partner. If there’s a lack of interest and a lack of willingness to work on the relationship, one should consider whether it might be better to stay single.

5. Respect

It’s crucial to respect your partner’s boundaries – but also to know and communicate your own boundaries. Everyone should be aware of what is acceptable to them and communicate these boundaries openly. When these are respected, trust is built. It becomes threatening when one partner repeatedly crosses boundaries, and just as harmful is allowing this. This can lead to frustration and misunderstandings. Only when both partners know and adhere to what is unacceptable to the other can a respectful and healthy relationship emerge.

Also, arguments and mistakes are a normal part of any relationship. The key point is how conflicts are dealt with. Constructive criticism is essential. After all, you’re a team, and the goal is to improve together. Criticism should be seen as an opportunity to grow – both as a couple and individually. Who could get to know you better and help you develop more honestly than your partner? Instead of defending oneself, one should accept the criticism and think about how to improve. Of course, this only works if the criticism is constructive and respectful, not destructive or hurtful.

6. Authenticity and Self-Confidence

Words and actions must align: Words alone aren’t enough when it comes to love; they must be backed up by actions. If you love your partner, you should not only say it but also show it. It’s important to remember that everyone feels loved in an individual way, and it’s important to figure out how this is for your partner. Some people feel loved through attentive conversations, others through gifts, and others through spending time together, etc. For example, it’s not helpful to overwhelm your partner with gifts if they feel loved more through attentive conversation. The challenge is to love your partner in the way they need, not in the way you think is best.

Be authentic – also outside of love: Not just in love, but in your own life, you should be authentic. It’s crucial to show your partner who you truly are and what you want. When someone says one thing and does another, it causes confusion and frustration. Authenticity is the foundation of a functional relationship. You should not only try to meet your partner’s needs but stay true to yourself and have the courage to express your own wishes and needs clearly.

Be content with yourself and your life: Before entering a partnership, one should be at peace with oneself. Not everything is perfect – everyone has doubts or things they don’t like about themselves. But a relationship shouldn’t be sought out of a lack. One shouldn’t enter a partnership expecting the other person to validate them or save their life. Instead, one should love themselves and live a life they value. Only then can one love someone else healthily and be loved in return. If this is not done, there’s a risk of placing a burden on the partner that they cannot carry.

A certain level of self-confidence: A healthy level of self-confidence is essential. If one feels insecure, they tend to constantly seek validation and attention from their partner. However, a relationship shouldn’t be based on the search for constant validation. It’s important to be independent and satisfied with oneself.

Lack of self-confidence can lead to unhealthy jealousy and control. If you don’t feel good enough about yourself, it often leads to the fear of losing your partner or not being enough. This insecurity can manifest in jealousy and the need for control. This is neither fair to the partner nor healthy for the relationship. Such feelings should be addressed early on to avoid burdening the relationship. It’s important to love yourself and trust in yourself and your partner so that jealousy and excessive control don’t have room.

7. Fidelity

Fidelity should actually be self-evident, yet in relationships, this point can offer a lot of space for misunderstandings and injuries. It’s important that both partners communicate well and figure out what fidelity means for each one. Everyone has their own idea of what it means to be faithful – whether emotionally or physically. If these ideas and wishes don’t match, conflicts can arise. To avoid injuries, both should clearly define what fidelity means to them and respect and adhere to it.

Without a clear agreement on this topic, a relationship can quickly become strained, leading to misunderstandings that can cause deep wounds. That’s why it’s crucial to clarify this point from the beginning and agree on a common basis.

Conclusion

A happy relationship needs a solid foundation, and that’s exactly what the seven basics provide. Without honesty, transparency, and trust, it becomes difficult to build a genuine connection. Communication, respect, and authenticity ensure that both partners feel seen and understood. And in the end, it is loyalty that holds the relationship together.

Ultimately, it’s not about being perfect or always getting everything right. But those who work on themselves and bring these fundamentals into a relationship give love the best chance to thrive.